nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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