I am puke
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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