I'm gonna have a badass scar
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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