My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
