how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
