Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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