i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
smell my finger.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
