Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
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I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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