if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Terrible idea I love it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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