my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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