hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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