We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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