She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
