i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
