worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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