Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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