omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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