Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
id be glad to
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
