Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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