he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
