I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
