All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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