spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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