when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
