I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
