I bet he comes in French.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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