Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
