I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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