You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He felt like a one man threesome
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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