remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
