I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
