the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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