Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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