ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
