it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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