So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
