I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize