Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
