Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
