my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so let's talk penis.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
