6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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