I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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