Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
