i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
