i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize