guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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