So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
