there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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