i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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