I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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