I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
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I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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