I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
