the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
