Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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