Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize