I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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