Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
...so i touched it.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
